Well…

What actually happened was that we discovered almost straight away that we’d made a gargantuan miscalculation. You know when Withnail says, “We’ve gone on holiday by mistake”? Well that. And like Withnail and I, we realised that alcohol would soon need to feature in our plans.

It didn’t help that we arrived late – all routes to Sheffield Ice Centre closed, it seemed, by the half marathon – and fuzzy headed after a fantastic night out with the girls. And as I shuffled onto the first section, a thin rope with just another thin rope to hold on to, I was suddenly gripped with terror.

Looking back at Lisa as she stepped off the platform, I saw a look that I had only seen one time before – on the face of a fellow passenger on the sea plane we thought was about to fall out of the sky. And I’m actually not talking abject terror, more of an “Oh bugger” moment.

As we huddled on the first platform, we reminded ourselves that we were doing this for Robyn. If brave, beautiful Robyn gave us the motivation we needed to step off that first platform, she couldn’t quite eliminate the fear – amazing as she is. And we felt that fear pretty much all the way round – as we watched someone in front of us bailing out and as the course climbed inexorably higher meaning that we not only had our fear of heights to deal with but we also had to find some reserves of strength to get up some of the steeper stages. Still, the bird’s eye views of the closing stages of the half marathon reminded us that things could have been a lot worse.

Other things that helped:

1. Robyn. Again
2. Our team of supporters: Helen, Katie, Lou, Rachel and of course Fiona, who inspired Hearts and Heads. They clapped and cheered each and every time we reached a platform – no mean feat in itself – took some amazing pictures and, crucially, ensured with their presence that we’d see this thing through to the end. We couldn’t lose face after all.
3. Finding out there was a bar nearby.

And so it was that we found ourselves on a platform approximately 40-50 feet above ground wondering exactly how we were going to get down. We had envisaged a controlled abseil – nothing more challenging than we’d done before.

But no.

Apparently, the way to get down is to walk off the platform and free fall until some kind soul puts the brakes on just before you go splat. It hurts and it isn’t elegant – think Bridget Jones and you get the picture.

There was one good thing about landing in the gravel arse first and flailing about like an upturned beetle though – it meant we’d finished the course. Unlike before, we had no urge to repeat the experience and politely declined the opportunity to go round again. But we did get that same sense of achievement and, once we’d downed a couple of emergency shots (thanks Helen!), wellbeing was restored.

Unlike the other charities we support, Heartline is quite small so every penny helps. Your generosity has been phenomenal and you helped us to raise over £250 in just under a week. Thank you so much for helping to make life a little brighter for families dealing with heart conditions xxx

Thanks Fi!

So Cath and Lisa asked if I could put together a suitable top 5 ahead of their fearless assent to the top of Aerial Extreme this weekend.  Naturally I said yes, since I have to keep myself firmly planted on terra firma it seemed like the least I could do.

Higher Love
Steve Winwood
Reached No 13 in the UK Charts in 1986

Steve Winwood, now there was a man with a fabulous voice. Shame he looks and dances like your dad. Also, I only just realised it is Chaka Khan singing too. All those women clutching their chests and swishing their skirts around distracted me.
The directors of this video also directed the Duran Duran video ‘Notorious’ which wiki says is virtually identical, I think very similar is more accurate. (What? There IS a difference). Anyway despite both being nominated for several MTV awards neither won a single springy M which just goes to show that creativity is where as it’s at – rather than replacing one slightly out of synch English man with an American one….

(Your love keeps lifting me) Higher and Higher
Jackie Wilson
Reached No 11 in the UK Charts in 1969

It is actually technically impossible not to cheer up when you hear this song. Cath? Lisa? Height is a good thing see? It is making this particular soul legend sing a slightly speeded up version whilst working a very natty red boiler suit. Actually maybe you could wear red boiler suits on Sunday, it will make it easier to keep track of you both when you are all the way up there… No? OK OK just a thought…

Higher Ground
UB40
Reached No 8 in the UK Charts in 1993

This came out just before I turned 14 at a time I was physically attached to my radio for around 20 out of any 24 hours and this was everywhere. Now generally I prefer my UB40 either singing about manipulated statistics (maybe One in Ten is due a revival?) or getting wasted on crushed grapes. Has anyone tried to sing Red Red Wine of Lips? There are huge swathes of that song I don’t remember being there before – and that is without the consumption of booze…

ANYWAY this one is a different song to the wonderful Wonder erm weecording… OK no I am done really. You could just go and donate via Just Giving you know and just click the video links and ignore me completely…

So four songs on the theme of heights to get Cath and Lisa in the mood to scale tall things and walk on tiny little wires. What can be the number one choice?

Don’t Look Down
Go West
Reached No 13 in the UK Charts in 1985

Well, for two women about to undertake a lofty challenge when neither has a head for heights this seems the most useful piece of advice I can impart. The fact that it comes via two very bouffant and smartly jacketed mid 80s teen pop idols is merely good luck…

Thank you Cath and Lisa for facing the fear and doing it anyway – again! So any obvious choices I missed?

Also ran: Wuthering Heights, I Can See Clearly Now The Rain Has Gone, Foot Of The Mountain, Living On The Edge, River Deep – Mountain High, Then I Got High, High and Dry

As you may remember Cath and I aren’t brilliant with heights, although we did surprise ourselves with our first challenge.  This time we are off to Sheffield!  Not an obvious choice of location seeing as Cath lives in Berkshire and I live in Hertfordshire, however there is a method to our madness.  A group of us who are friends and live all over the country are meeting up in Sheffield for a catch up, which doesn’t happen too often.  One of the reasons we’re meeting in Sheffield is that it’s one of the most central places for us all, another is that it’s where Fiona (the person who inspired us to start Hearts and Heads) lives.

So what are we doing this time?  We’re doing Sheffield’s Aerial Extreme! This Sunday! This time we may not be alone either in our challenge as a few of our friends have shown an interest in doing it with us, which is fantastic!  If not a few will be watching us and cheering us on hopefully.

I personally feel this is a good time to be doing something else, I need to do something as there are other things happening that I can’t do much to control.  Robyn in the last few months has had increasing visits to the Brompton as things are starting to slide for her again.  We knew it was going to happen but still awful when you are told news other than ‘everything is still great!’.  She’s now on medication, we’re waiting for a date for an MRI, and now her next op may be a much bigger one than the already big 8 hour one we knew it was going to be.  It’s knocked us a lot, that’s for sure, especially as she still looks so well and throws herself into everything with a smile on her face!

So once again we politely ask you to sponsor us.  This time we’re doing it for Heartline.  They are a voluntary organisation set up to offer help and support to families of children with heart disorders regardless of how slight or severe the condition may be.  It was a book put together by Heartline that we were given when Robyn was first diagnosed, and was a huge help to us.  They also run a forum which allowed me (husband not computer savvy) to talk to other parents and feel less alone.

To sponsor us please visit our JustGiving Page.

Thanking you hopefully!

Lisa xxx

From Catherine

Just to echo what Lisa has said, it has been some time since our last challenge. We still talk about what we’re going to do next and we still hold our chosen charities very close to our hearts – we always will. But sometimes life just gets in the way; often it’s work, family, friends, holiday - all the things that should be distracting us if we’re honest! Then there’s the less good stuff, like Robyn’s latest check up at the wonderful Brompton hospital. I’ve only experienced a fraction of the worry and uncertainty that Lisa and her husband are going through now. And my son grew out of his problems; there came a point where we could draw a line under it.

Organisations like Heartline give parents like Lisa and Ross the support they need – from people who know exactly what they are going through. So I’ve decided that on this occasion, I’d like to support Heartline as well. I haven’t abandoned the Stroke Association and I hope to fit in another 5K for them this year. The harsh reality though is that Mum’s situation isn’t going to change – I have a whole lifetime to honour her memory and remind you all to watch your BP and cholesterol levels

Thank you all for your support xx

I worked for Pace, the set-top box manufacturer, at the time, so when we realised that this wasn’t going to be about a minor mishap with a Cessna, we all headed down to the very well-equipped demo room to watch events unfold. As we watched, chewed our nails off, gazed in horror as the second tower collapsed, we realised that we were watching history in the making, and life would never be the same again.

Approximately 3,000 people died that day and since then, many more have lost their lives in the resulting conflicts; our world has changed beyond recognition, particularly in the Middle East. It seems a bit strange then to discover that on the 10th anniversary, I will be doing something completely different – raising money for the Stroke Association.

Yet again, I’m reminded that life could be a whole lot worse, that my grief isn’t unique, that there are people who have experienced more pain, horror and fear in a couple of hours than I will experience in a whole lifetime.

It’s humbling.

However, as I pound (wheeze?) my way around Hyde Park on September 11th, I am going to allow myself to also think about Mum: how much I miss her, how much poorer the world is  without her and how I’m going to do what I can to help other people survive their strokes.*

Again, I’m asking for just a fiver. And I’ve set my target at £75, which means I’m looking for ~15 sponsors. If you knew my mum, if she taught you or your kids, or if her death just made you think, “sh*t!”, please click on the link and pledge five pounds.

Thank you!

Catherine xx

* Which reminds me: have you checked your blood pressure/cholesterol lately? If you’re over 40, maybe you should – I just did!

Was it as pant-pooingly terrifying as we had anticipated? Well, we’ve deliberated over whether to tell you the truth about this but the fact is, no. We had a fantastically calm, level-headed instructor, Rich, who had us summed up from the moment he saw us and realised we were there to climb walls ourselves, not to chauffeur our wall-climbing kids.

“Have I told you why we’re here?” I chirped.

“Is it for charity?” he asked, without batting an eyelid.

“Er yes, is it that obvious?” said I.

To give him his due, he did appear to show genuine interest when I proceeded to tell him about our charities and why we were supporting them.  He didn’t let me procrastinate for too long though and was soon kitting us out with harnesses and talking us through the safety drill. And for me, the worst was already over – we weren’t required to wear helmets and I was therefore spared the ignominy of waiting while they searched the premises nay, nearest town for a helmet large enough to fit my oversized bonce (we call it the ‘Osborn head’; it causes much amusement as we take turns to rip Christmas cracker hats with our heads but otherwise, serves no real purpose).

Unfairly perhaps, I went first (when things got really tricky, I turned to Lisa and said, “Your turn to go first!”) and I have to say, it is not the most natural feeling when you’re clinging to a wall with your hands and feet and your centre of gravity (i.e. your backside) is somewhere behind you, trying to pull you back to earth the whole time.  The first thing you have to do is straighten up and the second thing to do is discover which of the ‘lumps’ you can get a proper grip on – some have lovely gaps down the back for your fingers and others are about as grippable as a very smooth, tiny pebble that has been greased with lard.

So having done this, Rich told me to let go of the wall so that I could experience for myself that glorious feeling of being saved by my anchorman… and the horror of seeing the effect of my weight on that knot he had tied ever so quickly. FYI, the knot is self-tightening, not loosening, but that subtle difference was lost on me as I saw the rope snake down through the knot.  This seemed like a good time to ask him if he really knew what he was doing but before I had the chance, he was telling me to “go for it” and I did. I raced up that wall, swearing as I went, thinking that the sooner I got up there, the sooner I’d get down again. “Wow!” said Alex. Indeed: we had all suspected that I would need extra oxygen at six feet.

Before I knew it, I was down - shaking but alive – and it was Lisa’s turn.  Standing at the bottom, watching someone else climb that wall, made me realise just what we’ve both achieved.  In case we haven’t mentioned it several times before, we are both terrified of heights and yet, here we were climbing to unnatural heights and actually enjoying it!

A couple of walls later and Rich decided to up the ante: “This time, you’re only allowed to use the green holds,” he said.  For me, this meant I needed to take longer to plan my route, stretch further and, occasionally, jump and hope.  For Lisa, who is shorter than me, it added a whole new dimension and I stood, open-mouthed, as Rich told her to “hop from your left foot to your right”, “turn 90 degrees”, “reach your right arm over your left shoulder” – you get the picture, Lisa was awesome!

After six walls each, our time was up. How did we feel? High as kites! We’d built up the challenge so much beforehand that it would have been easy for the day itself to disappoint but it far exceeded our expectations and we came away feeling exhilarated… and a little bit achy.  We’re now planning challenges 2 and 3 but doing so knowing that we will achieve them!

At risk of turning this into an Oscar speech, a few thanks are due: the unflappable Rich, and everyone at Craggy Island – a certain climbing centre in Berkshire could learn some customer service tips from these people. Alex, Daniel and Elena, Morghan and Robyn (and Ross, who would have if he could have!) and Lisa’s sister-in-law, Janina, and her lovely family, for coming to support us. And especially YOU lovely people for sponsoring us, coming up with motivational song titles, and supporting us via Facebook on the day.

The gorgeous Joel. Lives with Aortic Stenosis, nearly lost his life 3 times in his first 9 weeks.

I’m not just doing this for Robyn though, it’s for all the other CHD children and adults I know, those still here fighting and those who have sadly passed on.  Here’s to Joel, Hazel, Louis, Lewis, Tanesha, George, Lucy, Hope, Samuel, Thea, Sarah, Zoe, Anthony and so many more.  I’ll also be thinking of Cath’s Mum, Fiona, Tia and many more who are living with the effects of a stroke, or who lost their lives to one.  This time tomorrow you should be able to see photos of us climbing up that wall, and be able to read about how much our legs and arms are aching from getting us to the top!

The beautiful Zoe Chambers, who lost her fight against CHD. Never forgotten x

Hazel Hunt, born with TGA. Now raises awareness of CHD after setting up http://www.congenital-heart-defects.co.uk

The second of two Radiohead songs here.  Excellent choice, “High and Dry” is exactly what I hope I’ll be on Sunday as it means that Sure, indeed, didn’t let me down.

4. Oasis – Wonderwall – Lisa

People who know me (Cath) will know that I don’t really do dancing but I did make an exception for this song when my friend Jane and I went to the Canaries because in the 90s, dancing to Wonderwall was required by law.  I couldn’t understand though why everyone was looking at my boobs – I mean, they’re not bad but Jane’s were better, frankly.  Then I realised, I’d worn the same top to the beach – sun cream, sand and the club’s ultraviolet lights had led to a perfect hand print on each one.  There was nothing to do but pretend it was deliberate.

3. U2 – I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – Becky B

I’m so glad Becky chose this song because is my favourite song. Ever. And it may well be played at my funeral because I daresay I still won’t have found what I’m looking for then.  So what’s the connection with climbing?  Well, apart from the fact that we’ll be probably both be looking in vain for the top of the wall, we are both looking for something else – I’m looking to squeeze something good out of something that is pretty much entirely horrible and Lisa is looking for hope for children like Robyn, something that we all want, of course.

ISHFWILF was a gospel song from the start but it really became something else when the Harlem gospel choir became involved and although various versions exist – the original church recording is pretty damned good – there is only one version for me, the one that was recorded in Madison Square Gardens in 1987 and appears on Rattle and Hum.  Here it is:

2. Madness – One Step Beyond – Lisa

Thoroughly appropriate this song, not just because it’s one of Fi’s all-time favourites and if she says a song is cool then it most probably is but also because it sums up exactly what we will have to do on Sunday.  Chances are we’ll climb about 5 feet or so and then the “Oh heck” moment will come where we realise we’ve still got a hell of a way to go and our limbs aren’t working any more.  So for the remaining 995 feet (OK, I exaggerate a little), we’ll have to take just one more step and repeat.

And here it is, the one you’ve been waiting for:

1. Pink Floyd – The Wall – Chris M

“We don’t need no educasyhon…” to which our parents all said, “Double negative, oh the irony,” except my dad who caused us eternal shame by liking the song and getting what it was all about.  This album forms a significant part of the soundtrack to my life and it’s well worth watching the film not only because it’s thoroughly brilliant but you get to see Bob Geldof* looking even more haggard than you ever thought possible.

Of course, the best song from that album was Comfortably Numb, which is what Lisa and I will hope to be when we’re safely back home and cracking open the wine.  However, the link with climbing is fairly tenuous, so The Wall it is.

*Just Googled it to make sure I wasn’t having a Heather Small/Melissa Bell moment and yes, it was Bob.

“Is that a QI klaxon I hear?” typed Fiona.  Of course not, Kim is cool!  Now if you’d suggested this version…

9. Afroman – Because I Got High – Lisa

If ever I needed confirmation that Lisa and I are on the same wavelength, this is it.  So funny…

8. Yazz – The Only Way is Up – Chris M and Sue A

“Ah, what happened to Yazz?” I hear you ask.  Well, she married a man called Jazz – yes really – found God, moved to Spain (not necessarily in that order) and has just released a new album.  More here – http://yazzmusic.co.uk.  Here’s that song, which doesn’t do full justice to her talents or her beauty but is, nonetheless, the one that made her famous and it’s a classic of course.

7. Jackie Wilson – Higher and Higher – Fiona H and Sue A

Not a great quality video but worth including for the red catsuit alone.  Classic song, excellent choice!

6. Sly and the Family Stone – I Want to Take you Higher – Lisa

I’ll take you up on that on Sunday!

After a bit of mix up where I confused the band with a song by the Pet Shop Boys (easily done), here it is.  Don Johnson was the lead singer of Go West of course, not many people know that.

14. Iggy Pop – Don’t Look Down – Ellie T

“Don’t look down, they’re making sorta crazy sounds…” – that’ll be us!

Quite a few artists have produced tracks with the same name, here are some of them:

Kanye West

Jennifer Hudson

David Ryan Harris

13. Lighthouse Family – Lifted – Cath

Lifted because that’s what we’d like to be on Sunday and it gives us girls another chance to gawp at the lovely Tunde Baiyewu.

12. Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell – Ain’t no Mountain High Enough – Scott S

I am old enough to remember what I was doing the day Marvin Gaye was shot and it was just such an awful day.  They both died tragically young and I can’t help thinking what a richer world it would be if they and their music were still in it.  Excellent choice!

11. Thompson Twins – You Take Me Up (Where? –Ed) – Ellie T

I’ve linked to a remix for this classic 80s tune.  For any youngsters reading this, standard singles were released on 7” vinyl and the remixes on 12” (album-sized) vinyl.  This would have been a 12” no doubt and would probably have featured an instrumental version as well.  We took our singles very seriously in those days.  Must go and dig out my Rockwell 12” oo er…